EDITED VERSION:
Honestly? Let the damn rain spatter you
like a lover or Farmington's Lagoon
rides: Rattle Snake Rapids, the famed Log Flume.
Utah is a desert, an arid bowl
of ribcage, half a sun-blanched skull, our palms.
Fox News predicts another tsunami,
or something similar: a burst fish tank
of sky or a wrung, ebon beach towel.
My co-workers gather, fearing the flu,
pneumonia, death-of-cold. I tell them to
relish this breath like ceasefire. Waterloo
is our state's new name--the bellicose flame
of Summer soused, outflanked. The lucky few
dance outside, alive: April rain in June.
OLD VERSION:
Honestly? Let it spatter you
like a lover or a Lagoon
ride: Rattle Snake Rapids, Log Flume.
Utah's a desert--arid bowl
of ribcage, sun-bleached bones, skull-mine.
Fox 13 News predicts a tsu-
nami, or something close to it.
Burst fish tank of sky, wrung towel.
Co-workers gather, fearing flu,
pneumonia, death-of-cold. I say
relish this breath. Waterloo
is our state's new name: sketchy flame
of Summer, drenched. The lucky few
dance outside: April rain in June.














Critiques
It's not a fault of the poet, though. There were still plenty of thought-provoking lines for my taste:
- "...spatter you like a lover..." What a sneaky wonderful description!
- "Burst fish tank of sky, wrung towel." Oh, how true. The heavy rains here have felt exactly like that. I'm still wringing out.
- "...sketchy flame of Summer, drenched." Only to rekindle again and become a humid July.
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